Fantasy football

Well, it's time to brag. I don't get the chance too often, so I'm grabbing the opportunity while it lasts.

I was in 2 Fantasy football leagues this year. An 8 team league and a 16 team league. I came in first in the 8 team league and tied for 3rd in the 16 team league. Somehow I didn't make the playoffs in the bigger league because of the tie, but oh well. I know my team would have picked it up in the playoffs and I would have pulled off the upset if they would have let me in.

I need to thank Tom Brady for being my late pick Quarterback who kicked ass every week. I need to thank Nate Kaeding for proving to be an awesome producer as a rookie kicker. Thanks to Daniel Graham for producing so many points in the beginning of the season. A special thanks to Terrence McGee for being the best defensive pick up in the history of fantasy football.

Anyway, I know that is super boring for people to read, but then I remind myself that hardly anybody reads this thing anyway.

Quality temperature control

I finally sat down and watched all of "Lost In Translation" last weekend. I was suprised at how much I enjoyed it, although I would probably enjoy most anything with Bill Murray in it. I'm actually kind of excited to see "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". There's something about Wes Anderson movies that I find facinating. "The Royal Tenenbaums" was hilarious.

Anyway, I needed to write something today to keep my mind off the unbearable temperature in my office. I don't understand what is so hard about temperature control. The last couple of days my office building has been freezing, but today it feels like it's 110 degrees. It's the second day of winter and I've got my fan on to keep cool.

At least I've got some good news. I'm taking off early today to drive back to Maine for Christmas. I won't be back in the office until January 3rd. Which means I probably won't post very often (if at all) while I'm gone. I'm sure nobody cares, but I just thought I should mention it.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Here we go...

Lots of small things going through my head right now, none of which deserve a post to it's own. So I'm just going to talk about everything.

I completely destroyed my knee snowboarding last night. The snow conditions were probably the worst I've ever experienced. If I didn't wear a helmet last night, I'd probably be in the hospital right now. I'm in pain, lots and lots of pain.

Wow, did the Angel's really give Cabrera a 32 million dollar/4-year deal? I like the guy, but 32 mil is a little over the top. The Cardinals must be pissed right now.

Is there anybody cooler than Snoop Dogg? Anybody?

There's nothing better than living in a Italian neighborhood during the holidays. Everybody goes all out. Driving down my street this time of year is like driving through an amusement park. 10 foot Santas, blown up Snowmen, different lighting themes (gingerbread house, american flag, crazy blinking patterns). It's awesome.

Why do people in my office refuse to flush the urinal? Is there something about the smell of piss that is attractive to them? Please help me understand.

Hmmm, used the word "piss" twice already in this post... oops, I guess that's number three.

People in New Jersey honestly don't understand how a parking lot works. Trust me, it sounds stupid, but it's absolutely true.

Where is Zach Galifianakis and why is he not doing 20 movies a year? This guy is absolutely hilarious. If I ever write a movie, I want Zach Galifianakis to star in it.

What happened to the Pats last night? They lost to the Dolphins? Did that really happen? The more I think about it, the more I convince myself that this is a genius move by Belichick. They're just trying to lower everyone's expectations right before the playoffs. That loss may have been their smartest move all year. Now everybody thinks "Hey, if the Dolphins can beat the Patriots, then we can too!" Teams will let their guards down and become overconfident. Look out Super Bowl, here we come.

More pain... lots and lots of pain.

News Flash: Martinez comes home and bashes Boston

Nooooooo! Pedro, don't do it!!! NOOOOOOOO!

"They will field the best bad team in baseball history," Martinez said at a news conference Friday.

Nooooooo.... Pedro stop, please stop!

The three-time Cy Young Award winner said the Mets "have shown more respect in days than Boston did in seven years."

Aaaaaahhhhh!

Why the special treatment?

Would somebody please explain to me why I have to give my secretaries 5 bucks each for the holidays. I don't understand. Would this concept work for me? Can I walk around and try to collect money from all of my bosses? For some reason I don't think that would go over too well.

I know what you're probably saying, these people do things for me all year long and they deserve a token of my appreciation. Well guess what, I do stuff for my boss all year long, and I don't see crap from him. Why should I give money to my secretary who is always bitter whenever I ask her to do something.

If my secretary was doing stuff for me out of the kindness of her heart, then I wouldn't have a problem with giving her something. Guess what, she doesn't do stuff for me because she is nice, she does stuff for me because that's what she gets paid to do.

I'm sorry if they decided not to go to college and got stuck in a dead-end job doing other people's crap work, but that's not my problem. I'm keeping my 15 bucks.

Goodbye Pedro

I knew Pedro was leaving. I knew he was going to ask for more money than he was worth. I knew the Sox were not going to give him what he wanted. None of that makes me feel any better about Pedro signing with the Mets. The last 7 to 8 years of my life, I've been rooting mainly for 2 guys... Nomar and Pedro. Now, within half a year, both are gone.

Yes, the Sox did win the World Series... a fact I remind myself about every day, so what am I complaining about? Good question. I don't deserve to complain, but that doesn't fix the fact that 2 of my baseball gods are gone.

So how do I compensate for this loss? Two words... Big Papi. As long as Ortiz is around, I will be happy.

Some questions I have about next year:
1. Can we put money on the number of fans that David Wells will punch in the face at Yankee Stadium this year? I'm thinking somewhere near 7.
2. The Wells "8 million over 2 years" contract was a joke right? Right?
3. What happened to Hanley Ramirez? He was my pick as the next "Nomar".
4. Are the Sox trying to collect as many injured pitchers as possible?

The Redsox won the World Series, the Redsox won the World Series, the Redsox won the World Series, the Redsox won the World Series, the Redsox won the World Series, the Redsox won the World Series, the Redsox won the World Series.

Ok, I feel better now.

Can I be a sportsman too?

I love how hunters and fishermen call themselves "Sportsmen". I think this is hilarious. It's like they need to be reminded that what they do is for sporting purposes and not just because they like to shoot living things. HUNTING IS NOT A SPORT. Sure, it may take a little talent not to shoot your head off, and sure it may take a little patience to sit in a tree all day... but it's still not a sport. We have too many advantages over the deer to call it a sport.

If deer could carry (and use) guns, then maybe I would consider it a sport. Or if we used our bare hands to try to catch the deer, then maybe it would be a sport.

Let's think about this. A hunter uses a rifle with buckshot in it. He/she sits and waits for a deer to walk by. He/she then shoots the dear. He/she doesn't even need to be very accurate because buckshot sprays.

Ok, time to analyze the situation. Were there any sort of points accumulated? Nope, in fact there is no scoreboard involved (even golf has a scoreboard). Did the hunter best an opponent? No, the deer doesn't count because it didn't know it was playing (every sport has a winner and loser and everyone knows they are playing). Was the hunter judged in any sort of way (10 point scale perhaps)? No, there is no judging of talent involved. Is the hunter tired from this effort? Probably not, unless he's pushing the 400 pound mark and struggles to hold a gun.

So what have we found? You don't need to be physically fit, intelligent, talented or even have that much coordination to hunt. These are characteristics that all sports have. Hunting doesn't need any of them. Therefore, it is not a sport.

Don't get me wrong, I eat meat and I am not against hunting. I even love fishing. I'm just against calling it a sport. We should just call it hunting and catagorize it in the farming industry. I am not a "sportsmen" because I fish. Maybe because I love to watch football, baseball, basketball and play all of the above because those are real sports, but not because I fish.


Side Note: I searched for "sportsmen" in Google and Ted Nugent's website came up. That should tell you something right there.

Vermont trip

Went up to Stratton Mountain in Vermont this weekend to go Snowboarding. Below is a picture of us standing outside our sweet condo. It was a hell of a time. We are starting to compile some video footage so we can chronicle the entire season. It's going to be awesome because we are not good and there will be lots of crashing involved.



Have you ever known somebody who was psycho about their car? My roommate (let's call him Joe) is completely obsessed. He drove us up to Vermont in his truck. By morning, the truck was covered in salt. You could see the pain in his eyes.

To make a long boring story short, we got home late Sunday night. I went inside and got something to eat, while "Joe" stayed outside for the next hour and wiped his whole car down with these special paper towels that he has. Keep in mind it's like 30 degrees outside. Doesn't that just seem ridiculous? It's just going to get dirty again. I guess I just don't understand.

Will Bonds get what he deserves?

Last week when I heard about Giambi's steriod testimony, I said to my buddy Dyl, "I can't wait for them to prove Bonds is using steroids. Every body knows he uses them, every body hates him, nobody wants him to break Aaron's record. Nothing would be sweeter than to put an asterisk next to all his records." The very next day Bonds admits to using steriods.

Should we believe that he didn't know what substances he was using? Of course not, he knew exactly what they were. He's just trying to stay away from Pete-Rose-Humiliation-Status. I hope he gets kicked out of the league. At least Giambi was man enough to come out and admit he used them (not like we didn't know already), but it just makes me hate Bonds even more when he denies knowing anything about it.

That's all I've got to say about this. Turn on ESPN at any point during the next few weeks and you'll hear 50 people arguing and analyzing the situation.