10 Rules for highway driving

I love going home for the holiday's, but I hate the 7 hours of highway driving that I do to get there. However, I realized that if everybody followed a few simple rules, highway driving wouldn't be nearly as bad. So below are my 10 rules for driving on the highway.


Rule 1: When entering a highway, if you can't get up to 65mph while on the on-ramp, you should not be allowed to enter that highway. This should be part of the driving test. Seriously, when people merge on the highway going 40 mph, they are risking people's lives.

Rule 2: If you get passed on your right, you are in the wrong lane. No exceptions, you are driving too slow for your lane so move your ass.

Rule 3: If you are driving the same speed as someone on your right, you are in the wrong lane. Either speed up or slow down and get in the other lane. You are probably blocking the fast lane from a line of cars that has built up behind you. It's people like you who cause traffic.

Rule 4: Under no circumstances is the driver allowed to slow down to look at an accident on the side of the road. You are allowed to look, but you cannot slow down. Causing a traffic jam just so you can see some smoke coming out of a car is unacceptable. I hate rubberneckers. I can't tell you how many times I've sat in traffic for 20 minutes because some guy was changing a flat tire on the side of the road. What is it about this that everyone needs to slow down and look at?

random driving note: If talking on a cell phone is illegal, then eating/reading/playing with radio/CD changing/and talking to a passenger should be illegal too. I'm much more dangerous when I'm trying to eat my fries with one hand, drink my coke with the other, and steer with my knees than I am talking on a cell phone.

Rule 5: Putting your blinker on does not give you the right to change lanes whenever you feel like it (This rule does not apply to New Jersey because nobody here knows how to turn their blinkers on).

Rule 6: If you leave your blinker on, everybody on the road has the right to cut you off, high-beam you, or yell and throw things at you as they wish. This got me thinking. We need a universal sign for "hey, you left your blinker on". I'm thinking the middle finger works well.

Rule 7: If you know that you need to merge in the near future, do it as soon as possible. There is no one I hate more than the person who stays in the open lane as long as possible and merges at the last second. This person is the reason traffic moves so slow. And stop looking so surprised when nobody lets you in, you brought this on yourself.

Rule 8: If somebody lets you into their lane, you must give the obligatory "thank you wave". Otherwise you are a jerk.

Rule 9: If someone cuts you off (without an "apology wave"), you have everyright to tailgate them and cut them off at your earliest convenience.

Rule 10: All mistakes are forgiven if an "apology wave" has been clearly given. If you admit you are a moron, then everyone is satisfied and we can continue our long ass rides home.

I'll follow you into the dark

I know, using a Death Cab quote to title a Red Sox post is a little weird, but stick with me...

I hate to see anybody from the 2004 Red Sox leave the system, but I know it is inevitable. So instead of getting all bent out of shape about it, I'm actually looking forward to the new Red Sox. As long as Ortiz, Nixon and Veritek stick around, I will be happy.

So what do we have to look forward to next year? Well, Damon is most likely gone, which leaves a big hole in Center field. Lucchino said yesterday that Manny is looking to be traded....again. Which would leave a big hole in the clean-up spot. At least we'll have a chance to pick up some talent with the Ramirez trade. Possibly Lastings Milledge from the Mets? I'd love to see the Sox grab some solid defense for the outfield and save some money to spend on quality pitching... I know, I know, I'm being completely unreasonable here.

Youk can take over third base responsibilities if Meuller decides to walk.... However, if Millar and Olerud are gone, then we'll need a new first-baseman. Maybe we can swipe Konerko from the White Sox. If Manny and Damon are gone, we'll have lots of extra money to spend.

With Theo gone, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit worried. I mean, who knows how crazy our next GM will be? I can see the headlines now:

"New GM signs undead Ricky Henderson with newly replaced plastic hip to take over Center Field responsibilities for the Red Sox."

...Ok, I going to pretend I didn't just write that.

I love movies

I would say that in any given year, I can probably come up with an average of 12-15 movies that I loved. I mean, I'm pretty easy to please. I'm the guy who went to see Independence Day at the movie theater twice because I liked the special effects, thought Will Smith was funny, and actually enjoyed Bill Pullman's motivational Presidential Speech. I also kept waiting for his sidekick Barf to make an apperence in his flying Winnebago (If you got that joke, then you are awesome).

This year I can only remember 4 and that includes 2 stupid comedies and 2 brain dead action movies (not a lot of thinking involved here). Which means one of two things:
1) This year really sucked for movies
2) The best movies haven't come out yet
I know that if any movie thinks they might have a chance to win an Oscar, they are usually released late in the year so that the long-term-memory-imparied academy judges will remember them. So hopefully we are entering prime movie watching months.

This is always one of my favorite times of the year because I absolutely love movies. I'm probably most looking forward to Jarhead. The new war film from director Sam Mendes (American Beauty & Road to Perdition). I'm also excited about "Walk the Line". I've never been much of a Johnny Cash fan, but this movie just looks well made. And finally Zach Galifianakis is in another movie! The Comedians of Comedy, which is basically a documentary, will be absolutely hilarious. As well as Galafianakis, the film also features Patton Oswalt and Brian Posehn. Should be very enjoyable.

Below are all the movies that I haven't seen yet this year, but am excited to see (I know some came out a while ago, but I'm not a machine. I can't see everything).

The Weather Man
Walk the Line
Jarhead
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Murderball
The Aristocrats
The Comedians of Comedy
The Ice Harvest
Rent

I better love at least 8 out of 9 of these, or else I won't make my quota for this year.

Nothing special

So I’m sitting at work today with nothing to do and I decided to write a blog entry. Then I realize that I’ve got absolutely nothing to write about. Usually I try not to write about anything too personal and just concentrate on things like music, TV or gambling (BTW, I was right about the Bears/Lions game last weekend), but today I’m drawing a blank.

So why am I posting anything if I have nothing to write about? Because I’m bored, that’s why.

So if anybody wants to hear me ramble on about nothing, then please read on.

-I just started my last 3 paragraphs with the same word. I’m a smart one.

Here are some honorable mentions for TV characters who didn’t make it into my last post. Although, now that I think about it, Peter Griffin should probably have been my number 1 pick.

Peter Griffin “Family Guy” – Funniest TV character ever.
George O’Malley “Grey’s Anatomy” – Funny character, lives with 2 smokin' hot girls, I think he’s cool.
Seth & Sandy Cohen… and Summer (because she’s hot) “The OC”
Lex Luther “Smallville” – I got’s to get my Superman fix for the week.
Dr. Gregory House “House” – I find him entertaining, if not annoying sometimes.
Lorelai “Gilmore Girls” – Awesome character
Sandy “Seventh Heaven” - Super cool.

...Sorry, those last two were a joke. Just trying to see if anybody is paying attention. Seinfeld characters excluded from the list since it's no longer running new episodes. Curb Your Enthusiasm excluded because characters aren't really fictional.

Deep Woods Pumpkin Fest Ale was bottled on October 29th, 2005. Should be ready by Thanksgiving. Hooray for pumpkins.

I’m buying a new snowboard today (Burton Air 153). I can’t wait to test her out. I plan on landing a few 360’s this year and hitting the super-pipe as often as possible. Cough cough… I feel a few sick days coming on.

-I told you I wasn't going to talk about anything