Stupid Yankees theories

Ok, let me start by saying I hate the Yankees. That's probably common knowledge by now, but someone who reads this blog for the first time may get me confused with a frustrated Yankee fan... which I'm not.

Anyway, I think I've figured out the deal with the Yankees this year. I was sitting in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium watching the 9th inning comeback, when it hit me... this team is actually pretty good, they are just all a bunch of jerks. Ok, maybe I knew that before today, but here are my theories to explain why they are jerks.

Theory 1: The Yankees players this year think they are so good, that they don't need to exert effort during the majority of the game. Once the end of the game nears, they finally decide they should try. Just look at the game today. They sucked it up all day against the Royals. THE ROYALS! Then all of a sudden they start hitting the ball in the 9th inning? How else is this explained? It was the Royals!

Theory 2: Before the game, all the players are doing their drug of choice (pot, coke, roids, etc...). Throughout the game they are all high and don't know where they are, running around the field like a bunch of drunken frat boys. By the 9th inning, their drugs have worn off enough to start playing baseball.

Theory 3: Steinbrenner has secretly run out of money, so he can only afford to pay his players for 2 innings of baseball per night. In order to keep the players mouths shut, he is helping them hide their steriod addictions.

Theory 4: They really are not that good... they just keep getting lucky as hell.

...yes, those are my theories... I'm thinking number 2 and 4 are the most feasible.